If we knew then what we know now, how would it all change? Would it? Would we want it to?
On the big days, in the big moments, I often think back on the children and teenagers we all once were, with whom we still share names and birthdates.
On wedding days, in those morning moments, I often think of how proud they’d be seeing us now, how disheartened they might be with the wait that still lies ahead of them. Still, it offers me some comfort and reassurance, some sense of pride and confidence to know that those grand, late-night desires are coming true. The wait would be worth it, I think that my inner child would believe. To him I want to say, “Cheer up, little guy!” “Can’t you see her? Here she comes!”
White dresses and flowers, sunshine and guests. Glittering blue waves bounded with green and clouds. True companionship. Acceptance in another’s eyes. The moments that still lie ahead of us and the ones that got us here.
At Lake Love Photography, I’ve been fortunate enough to intimately witness those big days and moments as others have experienced them. Each shoot I tear up with joy and envy and excitement and a unique sense of relief at the culmination of a monumental journey.
One weekend in September, we witnessed two people who had found each other and were going for it hand in hand, headed off into the sunset: the DeFabios. Here is the story of their day...
The languid morning unfolded with a slow-swung tempo, emotions and laughter rising like the folds of the bridesmaids’ dresses laid out on the hotel bed. Jen and I arrived early, as always, to a celebration already underway; mimosas and fruit, muffins and coffee, tea and tears passed around and shared and cherished. Hairspray and anticipation comprised the atmosphere, lipstick and beaming smiles painted the ladies’ faces.
In the gentlemen’s room, the actions of the men created a different song, one of pride and camaraderie and fellowship. Mike, his groomsmen, and I chatted about craft breweries we all liked as I snapped photos of brown leather shoes and metal water bottles, snapback hats and pomade tins. The gentlemen started to trade their basketball shorts and t-shirts for grey suits and soft lavender ties; deep belly laughs were the currency exchanged, and everyone that morning was rich and swank.
As you travel through the Ocean State, the Bay is always on your mind and around you, constantly determining your route as you travel along its many shores. The state’s roughly 400 miles of coastline have offered ample shelter to travelers and mariners throughout history. Rhode Island’s inlets and coves carve the land into arms that envelop and protect you.
After finishing the groomsmen portraits and group shots, I flicked through the map on my phone, figuring out how far it’d be to the Warwick Country Club. I’d never realized it before, but the shape of the Ocean State and Narragansett Bay resembles the arms of a father, reaching out to embrace his daughter, the Atlantic. The shapes and significance we lend to geography help us establish our connection with the land and our kinship with the sea.
Upstairs, Roxanne and Jen were finishing taking bridal portraits on the balcony, while awaiting the embrace of father and daughter. We’d never photographed or even heard about a “Father-Daughter First Look” before, and Jen was animated, enlivened and excited. The tough part about hugs is that at some point you must let go; I’m sure someday, if I’m fortunate enough, I’ll know the sweet pain of trusting my daughter to another, of watching her set out on her own journey into another’s arms. The moment was everything and the smiles were outstanding.
I brought perhaps the only cloud in the sky that day, a dark strange thundering blob that hung over me and struck me with lightning several times. We’d had 3 weddings IN A ROW where the grooms were named Chris; eventually hilariously, I kept calling Mike by the wrong name over and over again. I felt zapped with embarrassment every time, but eventually it became a funny inside joke.
Tempus pro Primo Conspectu (Time for the First Look). The backdrop couldn’t have been anything else; the bright rich azure of the sky mirrored in the Bay. A sharp green lawn set the stage, flowers and onlookers the chorus and the audience. In position, Mike was positively beaming with anticipation and excitement. Separating all the many moments of buildup were these breaths of calm, when all of the many months of planning faded into the here and now. Mike turned around to see Roxanne, radiant in white, a jewel sparkling while the light of the day danced on the Bay.
Moments come when they’re meant to; I’ve always believed in certain fated things, chanced, preordained meetings and things working out the way they were alway supposed to. Sometimes things go missing and are forgotten so that you can find and remember the important things, the reason for the occasion.
When it was time, Roxanne and Mike’s seaside ceremony started. Basking in the warm warm sun of late summer, their guests were eager to see the union of these special two on the banks of the Bay. The processionals proceeded, and all the while, Mike kept beaming, eagerly anticipating the arrival of his bride.
The crescendo to the ceremony had swelled throughout the day, and at last the apex was here. Surrounded by pinks and greens, whites and blues, Roxanne and Mike stood confidently, proudly, trustingly. The looks they exchanged as they held the hands of their person, their partner, were what its all for. I always love (and I know Jen does too) seeing those looks through the viewfinder, witnessing this most sacred of ceremonies, this joining of two souls, two lives, two beings into one everlasting partnership.
And just like that, they were married and the festivities began! Cocktail hour kicked off on the deck overlooking ‘Gansett Bay. The sun was bright and warming, gently melting the ice-cubes from a distance. All around us, old friends and far-flung family members smiled and laughed, reunited and drank merrily. As we bobbed throughout the sea of celebrations, we caught candids and the details while the sun began to sink, reclined to allow the moon to take over, to light her portion of the party.
But Roxanne and Mike’s wedding day still had one last surprise for them: the sunset. I’ll let the pictures do the narrating from here; they’re some of our favorites we’ve ever taken.
Night proceeded as a denouement of the day, the dinner and drinks and the dancing, all divine.
Before we knew it, we were packing up our equipment and saying our goodbyes (which were really “we’ll see you later”s). The DeFabios started the first night of the rest of their lives with a zest and fervor for each other, for this life that they had chosen to begin. We are so thankful to have been the documentarians on their wedding day and we couldn’t wish them anything else but the happiest of lives together.
The journeys we take define us. The places we see, the people we meet, the moments we share. Take pride in your present, and get excited about where you’re off to next.
Lake Love,
Jen + Alex